Julia

Julia..............
    One of those people in my life that just makes me grateful to know her.
Tomorrow is Veteran's day. A day when we celebrate heroes.
To me, she is one.

She is indeed a veteran, but her heroics are not connected to that time of her life that she served in the military.

The one heroic part of her connected to her military time is that as a young girl , a little mixed up and hurt by some things in her childhood, she made a choice. A choice to remove herself from the life that had hurt her, and to walk into a new life of discipline and order , and to start a new life for herself. I never really told her how proud I was of her to make that choice and to restart her life. It is time she knows that.

She always just 'got to me' , something about her sincerity just always got deep into my spirit. One thing that made her a hero to me is a drive to church one night. I was furious at my husband and ranting about the injustices of life with him..... lol..... she stopped me in mid sentence and said, " do you know how ugly you are when you frown like that? When you smile you are so pretty. No matter how mad you are, just smile as you are talking about the problem, because your pretty face should never look like it looks right now"....... I was the older friend, I was the one that was supposed to be showing her the facts of life, and the way to live 'right'. But with that one sentence said with such love to me, she changed my life. It ha been 30 years since that night and yet everytime I get really mad, and rant... I hear her. I try to stop contorting my face into that twist of anger. I don't always pull it off, mind you, but dang it I try! Not a sermon , not a song, not a movie, nothing in my life ever really impacted me like those words did. I have told her many times that those words she said that night never left me, and gave me a life lesson to remember  (beauty comes in a simple smile ), but I think I need to tell her again. 

When her young marriage ended and left her with two very active young boys..... she hung in there. She worked hard, tried to do her best and had enough sense to ask for advise and more importantly prayer when she needed it. She had some hard times , but she loved those boys with her whole heart. She was given a good husband the second time around, and I am grateful for that. But life in a blended family is hard, and her ex didnt help much with his agenda to use the kids as pawns or possessions to be fought over instead of trying to help her raise them in a good way without pulling them in different directions. She is my hero for never punching his lights out, because to be honest I might have in her place ! Dont get me wrong , she is human, she wanted to.. but she didnt! 

Four years ago she became another kind of hero to me. One that I never ever want to become. I walked into a funeral home to stand beside her , as she looked down into a casket with her precious , beautiful marine son laying in it. She will tell you she was a mess. She will tell you that she is no hero..... but she was standing...... she was standing....... I dont know how , but she was standing. Kids aren't supposed to die at 20 years old, and they are sure not supposed to die in the streets of a land across an ocean. I watched her caress her sons face for hours as people passed..... each moment holding my breath waiting for her to collapse. But she didnt. A day later I watched a flag be placed in her lap, and to me, that was the epitome of bravery. She was my hero that day and I am sure , she was her son's hero as well. 

Today she showed me her heroics again. It is the marine corp birthday. I have thought of her and her precious son all day. I have see sawed between sadness and anger and worry for her, and so many other emotions. I planned the tribute I would pay to her son tomorrow for Veterans day, what picture would I post, what words would I say to show how much his sacrifice and her strength have meant to me........ All my love was pouring out to her, without her even knowing it as far as I know. We kinda have this understanding that she is not quite stable yet..... not quite ready to get a call from weepy me..... I dont call on days like this. I just pray for her and think about her son. But a van pulled up....... a woman got out and she had flowers to deliver. I assumed they were for my daughter from her boyfriend , or one of my other kids........ but my name was on the card. The  card said simply " To brighten your day      Love, Julia"  

How did she know my day needed to be brightened?    I guess Heroes just know....

I love you Julia.  You amaze me. 
TJ 2010